brandon's blog

Sunday, October 26, 2008

THRILL

IT'S 4.30AM NOW!

WOOOOO! BACKKK FROM TEE YUAN BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION~

WE WENT TO ARAB STREET FOR SHISHA.

PRETTY COOL, FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE SMOKING? HAHA

ACTUALLY WANTED TO GO GEYLANG PUB BUT DUE TO SOME PROBLEMS, WE ARE UNABLE TO PROCEED THERE. :(

SO WE WENT TO WOODLANDS TO DRINK!

DRINK DRANK DRUNK, OF CAUSE I WAS NOT DRUNK.

IF NOT I WON'T BE HERE BLOGGING. :D

AFTER THAT, WE HEADED TO "A PLACE" TO FIND THRILL. (NOT PROSTITUTE)

FUN+FUNNY = FUCKING FUNNY.

HAHA, NEXT TIME WE GO THERE, SURE MUST DO IT AGAIN MAN! LOL

AFTER THAT WE CAB HOME SWEET HOME!

AND TEE YUAN WANTED TO CELEBRATE MY UPCOMING BIRTHDAY AT CLUB? HAHA

BUT I PREFER TO CELEBRATE AT PUB SINCE IT IS CHEAPER TO OPEN ALCOHOL...

WE SHALL DECIDE AS TIME GOES BY. :D

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO TEE YUAN!

by brandon lee

Sunday, October 19, 2008

The beginning

I can sum up a week of lecture in ONE word " meaningless ".

Monday to Friday -Waste of of my time.

Saturday, went out with Gary to Hagi lane and later on to VivoCity.

Actually wanted to buy a shorts that can be used as a swimming trunk and jogging pants.

Found it but whole Singapore doesn't have the colour I wanted! AWW!

SO SAD that I stay at home the whole day on Sunday.

by brandon lee

Monday, October 06, 2008

Monday, October 6, 2008

Jokes!

Contents for 18years old and above!

Found some funny jokes and decided to share with all of you.

Breast Awareness-
A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women`s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, see them and they make you cry." This infuriated the wife and daughter so the daughter said."Mom, how many kinds of penises are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and looks at her daughter and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man`s twenties, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" "Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only!"

Age Cruise-
A man and his wife, now in their 60`s, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

Ugly People-
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

Busy Bulls -
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him."
They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also."

They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one."

The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and see if it was 365 times with the same cow."

When I get big, fat, and juicy...

There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around talking about how their lives sucked.

The cucumber "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad."

The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a jar."

The penis looks at him and says, "You think you have it rough? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber tarp on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out!."

Argument About Sex

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.
The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this... When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?

Orientation In Heaven

3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven.

They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?

The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say ... LOOK, HE'S MOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Little Johnny Jokes as requested

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty !" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good" and Mary fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" But, Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

"Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"

And again, Johnny Jabbed her with the pin.This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

The Teacher fainted.

Caught (joke)

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than his real one. She went completely ballistic. ''You impotent bastard,'' She screamed at him, ''how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!'' The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: ''I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids.''

Watch out Men!! (joke)

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”

Flattered, the man replied, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely!”

“This must be a sign from God!” The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”

Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police…”

ENJOY THE JOKES!
GOODNIGHT~!

by brandon lee

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Trying to hold on, but didn't even know why.

Lost under the surface.

In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me.

by brandon lee